This was when we got our dog, Harry, at Christmas. Allie is in the pink and twins are on either side of her. Still trying to find one of all the kids.
All 9 together again at Christmas!
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Pictures
From left to right: Allie (my firstborn), Sophie (one of my twins), my brother's two children, and far right is Jack (the other twin).
My husband and I taken at Christmas.
I have more but my husband likes Macs (vs Windows) and I currently suck at figuring out how to use it. I had to grab these photos from FB!!
Friday, February 20, 2015
The problem with kids..... aka the problem with being a control freak parent
Oh my gosh I lost my cool this morning. I'm so fed up with our 13 year old girl and 11 year old boy. Maybe it's developmental stages, maybe it's me and I'm hormonal. Maybe it's birth order, or placement in their family of birth versus our family now. Whatever it is... it's pissing me off!
These are smart kids. Smart. All A's and B's smart. Coming home with mid-term report cards showing D's. Why? Because they aren't turning in their homework. That's it. Missing homeworks. Really? Seriously?
Then there's the behavioral issues. Telling me they've done their chores but in reality, only doing a half-ass job. Hitting their younger siblings. This isn't once or twice a week. It's EVERY DAY, MULTIPLE OCCASIONS. I'm ready to snap. I already have four younger ones who do this. I expect it from them, not from the older ones.
I don't think we give them too much to do. They have a few chores, and are expected to do them well. If your chore is to empty all small garbage cans in the house into the kitchen garbage, and then take that bag outside, should I have to go around and check to see if they were all done? Should I see crap left all over the floor around the garbage cans? Should I be grateful it was done as well as it was, and that I didn't have to do it? Am I being too picky? AM I????
If your job is cleaning out the cat litter, and both parents have shown you multiple times how to clean it out, should I still see cat shit in there right after you supposedly did it?? SHOULD I???
If you've left sandwiches in your backpack, which indicates you're only eating your snacks at school, and I tell you that you can have english muffins or bagels for breakfast so that you're not eating just sugar all day, should I find out you've been eating freakin Cocoa Puffs instead?
Am I being too controlling? Should I let it go and pretend I don't notice? If I make too much of a fuss will I turn them into even more rebellious little freaks? Am I expecting them to be mature too quickly, because I already deal with these behaviors from the younger ones? Am I overwhelmed because of the size of the family, coupled with the fact that I like things to be orderly and clean? I need help to keep the order, but they just buck the system.
By age 12, I was making dinner, washing up after dinner and doing laundry. Not everyday, but when it was needed. Shouldn't I be able to count on them for anything at this age?
Ugh.
These are smart kids. Smart. All A's and B's smart. Coming home with mid-term report cards showing D's. Why? Because they aren't turning in their homework. That's it. Missing homeworks. Really? Seriously?
Then there's the behavioral issues. Telling me they've done their chores but in reality, only doing a half-ass job. Hitting their younger siblings. This isn't once or twice a week. It's EVERY DAY, MULTIPLE OCCASIONS. I'm ready to snap. I already have four younger ones who do this. I expect it from them, not from the older ones.
I don't think we give them too much to do. They have a few chores, and are expected to do them well. If your chore is to empty all small garbage cans in the house into the kitchen garbage, and then take that bag outside, should I have to go around and check to see if they were all done? Should I see crap left all over the floor around the garbage cans? Should I be grateful it was done as well as it was, and that I didn't have to do it? Am I being too picky? AM I????
If your job is cleaning out the cat litter, and both parents have shown you multiple times how to clean it out, should I still see cat shit in there right after you supposedly did it?? SHOULD I???
If you've left sandwiches in your backpack, which indicates you're only eating your snacks at school, and I tell you that you can have english muffins or bagels for breakfast so that you're not eating just sugar all day, should I find out you've been eating freakin Cocoa Puffs instead?
Am I being too controlling? Should I let it go and pretend I don't notice? If I make too much of a fuss will I turn them into even more rebellious little freaks? Am I expecting them to be mature too quickly, because I already deal with these behaviors from the younger ones? Am I overwhelmed because of the size of the family, coupled with the fact that I like things to be orderly and clean? I need help to keep the order, but they just buck the system.
By age 12, I was making dinner, washing up after dinner and doing laundry. Not everyday, but when it was needed. Shouldn't I be able to count on them for anything at this age?
Ugh.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Poem from 1988
Found this in my memory box as well. This was written with my BFF in her bedroom after a couple of beers, and tears over ex-boyfriends. An obvious contrast to my last entry.
1986 was a good year
Now I'm sitting at home sucking on a bottle of beer
Good times went too fast
I knew they'd never last
So where to now Dex?
Off to another night of sex?
Yeah sex, a bang, a lay, a good screw
But where in fucking hell are you?
I guess all there is to do, is say fuck you.
FUCK YOU!
1986 was a good year
Now I'm sitting at home sucking on a bottle of beer
Good times went too fast
I knew they'd never last
So where to now Dex?
Off to another night of sex?
Yeah sex, a bang, a lay, a good screw
But where in fucking hell are you?
I guess all there is to do, is say fuck you.
FUCK YOU!
Poem from 1989
I wrote this in a journal I found from freshman year of college. No idea what was going through my mind, but I like it.
Currents run, in the glittering shadows of time
Passing quietly, protesting yet flowing
Realities fated not to be
Happen in their own stillness
Then the impossible comes
Peaceful leaves lie wounded, dry up and blow away
The river and the rain wash the earth and the sky together
And all drift downward to the sea.
Currents run, in the glittering shadows of time
Passing quietly, protesting yet flowing
Realities fated not to be
Happen in their own stillness
Then the impossible comes
Peaceful leaves lie wounded, dry up and blow away
The river and the rain wash the earth and the sky together
And all drift downward to the sea.
The 7 Year Itch
So it's been 7 years since my last post. 7 long years? 7 quick years? I'm not sure. There have been many changes. Many moves. Still many children. Eight are living with us and the oldest is on his own.
I have many joys. My children are the light of my world. I'm not working and have a small break now. I'm working out again, and have lost weight (though I still have far to go). We live in a laid back part of the states, the weather is almost always nice, and people are friendly.
I've also had many struggles. Our oldest has had a drug use problem and has been arrested. Over the last three years, my marriage has struggled, although recently, through horse therapy, my husband has had a breakthrough with his issues with anger.
I've held in a lot of hurt and anger, which has resulted in a heart of resentment. Writing has always helped me to break free from the bondage of bitterness, and I'm hoping this blog will be the medium to heal some of these wounds. If nothing else, at least it will stop me from continuing to hold in negative emotions, and give them a place to dwell, outside of me.
I hope I truly utilize this space and make time for it again. I need it.
I have many joys. My children are the light of my world. I'm not working and have a small break now. I'm working out again, and have lost weight (though I still have far to go). We live in a laid back part of the states, the weather is almost always nice, and people are friendly.
I've also had many struggles. Our oldest has had a drug use problem and has been arrested. Over the last three years, my marriage has struggled, although recently, through horse therapy, my husband has had a breakthrough with his issues with anger.
I've held in a lot of hurt and anger, which has resulted in a heart of resentment. Writing has always helped me to break free from the bondage of bitterness, and I'm hoping this blog will be the medium to heal some of these wounds. If nothing else, at least it will stop me from continuing to hold in negative emotions, and give them a place to dwell, outside of me.
I hope I truly utilize this space and make time for it again. I need it.
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